This is my Christmas post

LET'S GET GAY UP IN THIS YULE TIDE AND DECK SOME SERIOUS HALLS

Okay, so Christmas is over. Here's a choppy recap of what happened and what's gonna happen.

I had a birthday party. Yea, it's my birthday on the 23rd, so I went home and had supper at my grandmother's house with a bunch of family. This "family" happened to include my mom's boyfriend, his two sons, and one of the sons' french girlfriend. Okay, so there were strangers at my birthday party, and that was a little weird, but they were friendly... and I enjoyed listening to my aunt pull out a razor sharp wit I have never seen before and mercilessly tease mother's boyfriend.

-------------------------------

We had a ham sitting on the stove, waiting for the rest of the food to be done before cutting it. Everyone was busy with other things and the ham was sitting alone without a single soul within ten feet of it. The ham apparently decided it didn't like not being the center of attention and, in a fit of melodrama, threw itself onto the floor. Luckily, it didn't break its dish and only managed to make a sad smear on the floor.

"It's okay," assured my grandmother, "I just washed the floor today!"
We still washed the ham before eating it.

-------------------------------

I realized my sense of humour makes others uncomfortable. Mom was complaining that she'll wake up in the morning to find her cat sleeping on her pillow, in her face.
Me: "You know why that is?"
Mom: "No, why?"
Me, with a completely deadpan delivery, "Because they're stealing your breath."

What followed was the most silent, shocked thirty seconds I have ever experienced. I could only take a maximum of thirty seconds of everyone staring at me in shock and fear before I burst out laughing. Once they realized I was joking and not, in fact, a raging lunatic, they all joined in.

-------------------------------

My birthday cake had candles that burned rainbow flames! I don't have any pictures of the cake, but here's the pretty candle packaging:

They actually burned bright colors! Though the hot part of the flame was blue in all of them. It made a neat two-color flame. :D

-------------------------------

I'm trying to figure out if my six year old sister really believes in Santa, or just goes with it. I don't know how logical children are supposed to be. She didn't seem to have a problem with the fact that her aunt and great-grandfather bought her accessories for the DS she got from "Santa", even though there is no reason for those people to be in communication with Santa. When we were opening our stockings, she said to me, "Look sissy, Santa got these two for one at the dollar store!" and she seemed perfectly okay with that, too. She was absolutely thrilled with NORAD tracking Santa (we got updated via Twitter). I remember eating that up as a kid - I loved the NORAD Santa tracker.

Me: They say stuff like,
"We've got a bogie coming in over the North Pole. Making radio contact now..."
"HO HO HO"
"Ground control, we've got Santa."
Friend: Yea, that's not how it would go at all.
Me: More like, "We've got a UFO moving in from the North Pole. Raise to DEFCON 2."

I also remember kids in either my Sunday school or my normal school bringing in their letters from Santa to compare handwriting.

-------------------------------

My sister got a DS for Christmas, as I mentioned above... she also got two flash drives loaded with a total of over one hundred and forty pirated DS games. I really don't know how to feel about that. Is this what an average person will do when given the opportunity to obtain cracked software? It it truly sales and effort lost, or is it a case of low substitution rate?

-------------------------------

When we got back from our visit, we opened the presents from T's mom. She goes a little crazy at Christmas... I got my new processor, motherboard and RAM. Unfortunately, the computer I had before was composed of proprietary/specialized parts so we had to use a spare case... and we don't have a CPU fan that will fit the mobo. So tomorrow, on Boxing Day, we're going to Futureshop. It will certainly be... an adventure. I'm hoping it snows to keep the crowds at a reasonable size.

-------------------------------

T: "A one-time Visa credit card with $100 on it is like getting a one hundred dollar bill... except you can't spend it on crack."

-------------------------------

What I think is the sweetest about T's mum is that she pays attention. The only things I asked for for Christmas were the computer parts - but she picked up a few other things too. She has a great sense of my style, so I enjoy getting tights and jewelry and home decor from her. A while ago I had mentioned in passing that I wanted to have a bunch of non-matching colored glass drinking glasses, because I thought it would look really pretty. Guess what I unwrapped today?
So lovely. :3 (those are tea light holders in the foreground)

------Things I forgot---------

My sister opened a present and found a bag of makeup. "Oh, look at all the expensive makeup!" as she pulls out a bunch of fancy lipsticks and some foundation and concealer. "What's this?" as she pulls out a rosary. It then dawned on mother's boyfriend what was going on. After dropping off some gifts a month ago, his mother had lost her makeup bag. They assumed it fell in a parking lot somewhere, never to be seen again. Well, what actually happened was much sillier - her makeup bag got wrapped up in my sister's present.
-------------------------------

A fuzzy blanket I got from my mom had selling points on its tag:
- Warm, luxurious and soft
- Machine Washable
- Multi purpose

I don't know what the difference is between a multi purpose blanket and a single purpose blanket is, but I'm glad she splurged on the one with more features.

6 things about

This is my Christmas post
  1. Awesome Christmas! That cat joke was a bit unfunny, the story itself was! Merry Christmas :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha this was a pretty entertaining post to read ! Especially the whole thing about the cat!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol, my joke about the cat wasn't meant to be particularly funny, I say stuff like that all the time to my friends and they "get" it. I think I just scared my family haha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Atta girl. Don't let a stupid floor ruin your ham. However you might send your ham to seek professional help for suicidal tendencies.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You still haven't told me how to get around my blocker.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. I HAVE THOSE CANDLES. THEY'RE AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete

Copyright 2012 Phile not Found. See About
Powered by Blogger

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."