Dr. Pepper and baby pictures

"No offence, my love, but you really weren't a bright kid," he says after I tell my friends about how I refused to drink Dr. Pepper as a child because I thought it would be... well... pepper-y.

In all seriousness, someone should tell the Dr. pepper people what's up. I wasn't the only person in that room who at one time absolutely refused to drink pop named "Dr. Pepper" that was "made with 23 flavours." That's way too may flavours, and I would have sworn that one of those flavours was pepper. It's cute when it's magical jelly beans; not so much when it's a beverage.


I R UNDERSTAND HOW TO BOOK

He's said that a few times before, such as when I recounted the epic battles I used to have with my dog over her dog food, how as a child I developed a craving for soap, and how I once purposefully stepped on a rake in the name of science.

I was much older than I should have been. I was playing in the front yard while my step father did yard work, idly chatting with the neighbourlady. There was a rake laying on the ground. I pondered its rake-y form for a while, donning a scholarly air. After some time of applying what little physics and logic I knew, I evidently concluded that the whole cartoon imagery of stepping on a rake and having it fling up and hit your face was undeniably false. To test my conclusion I tested the rake.

I had a bruised face for a week and a bruised ego for a year.



OM NOM NOM nom nom nom

Looking back, I have to agree. As a child I was a loner, introspective, talkative, curious, and exceedingly dense. I mean, I know children are all kinds of dumb, but it seems that my own level of childhood stupidity surpassed the average. I did the usual dumb kid things - hurt myself climbing and falling and performing poorly at arithmetic. But I also had a gleam of ingenious stupidity, leading to beautifully subtle conclusions such as "The water is blue because it reflects the sky, and the sky is blue because it reflects the water; therefore God."


You rock that drawer, your drawer rocker you.

Once the seeds are planted, it appears there's nothing that can be done to save you. Those hearty seeds of stupidity have flourished in the fertile soil of my day-dreamy mind, and occasionally the fruits bear themselves gloriously. My own stupidity is stunning at times, but that is a story for another day. For many other days, in fact.

6 things about

Dr. Pepper and baby pictures
  1. First!!!!1!!

    Stupid stories are always funny and great to listen to. I LOVE your rake story :P I never did anything particularly stupid but to this day my mum continues to remind me I have absolutely no common sense, so I kind of know what you went/are going through.

    By the way, would it be rude if I said that in those baby pics you look slightly...Asian/Mexican?

    Yeah, no common sense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I used to look really native (from my father's side), but I grew out of it. I think my eyes are still a bit almond-y, and I'm of course dark-haired and I tan easily, but when I was younger I looked super ethnic. I guess as my body grew bigger it got spread more thin.

    I have more stories of me being hilariously stupid, but when put on the spot I always forget them. XD

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your expressions in these photos!

    I can't exactly imagine you as dumb, but I'll take your word for it. Mainly because I also feel really, really... unintelligent sometimes. My life has been a sad testament to the book smarts/street smarts dichotomy. One day I went to school, aced a structural engineering final, and then came home to find I'd locked myself out of my house. I guess there's only room for so many marbles in these heads of ours.

    ReplyDelete
  4. From one childhood dog food eater to another...I feel your shame...;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. April: "I guess there's only room for so many marbles in these heads of ours." I think you nailed it. I usually describe myself as spacey. I just do stupid things and am forgetful, hehe.

    Candy: Oh boy, I can distinctly recall sneaking a few handfuls of dog food as late as second and third grade, and I would happily meet dares to eat dog treats right up to high school. It's crumbly and dry and apparently met some sort of craving. Cat food tastes completely different and is kind of tangy...

    I now suppress the urges to eat animal food by drinking beer :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is hilarious, but i can definitely see my family pulling out some embarrassing pictures of me. Funny thin, I just got done doing a post on family memories, but it was video I produced from last year's Xmas.

    ReplyDelete

Copyright 2012 Phile not Found. See About
Powered by Blogger

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."