What's in your bag!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

There comes a time in every girls life where she talks about what's in her purse.

To the Internet.
  1. Hair bow These bows are the best. I can get all my hairs in them like a ponytail, or just use it to get hair off my face. Usually I end up with five of them in my purse, as I like to let my hair down at night once it cools off and I just toss whatever bow I was wearing into my purse.

  2. Sunglasses Of course, only in the summer. People who wear sunglasses in a city during the winter are douchebags. I have a second pair that I sometimes wear when I don't mind standing out...

    But, I try to avoid wearing sunglasses as much as possible. When I was a kid I was very self-conscious about my big nose. I don't know if it was actually big or if I just perceived it that way (It's possible I "grew into it" by now) but I still feel self-conscious about that part of my face.

    Which is ridiculous, I know, but there ain't much I can do about it.

  3. Kleenex I think I should start carrying around a little umbrella. You know how when you have an umbrella with you, it never rains? It's like that for me and kleenex. The moment I take the pack of kleenex out fo my purse, I start getting colds and allergies and bullshit. I don't fucking know. So, I keep kleenex in my purse even though I almost never have to use it.

    And yes, I call it motherfuckin' kleenex. None of this "tissue" bullshit; I'm not french

    That makes sense because my step-father's french family used to insist on calling them "tissues," but they also called napkins "serviettes" which is weird as hell. They'd ask me to "pass a serviette" and I'd be like, "The fuck do you want? SPOON? TEACUP? What is this serviette voodoo!? ... fucking... what, do you want this? what are you pointing at? That napkin? What the hell, bitch."

    The worst part is, they used to same word for paper towels, too.

  4. Pencil and Eraser You know that old joke about the eraser on the pencil being only a fraction of the amount of lead graphite?

    Oh, and be careful using the expression "a fraction of..." around annoyingly smart people. Because, in all technicality, 1/1 is a fraction, as is 2/1 and the usual 1/2, etc. Everything is a fraction.

    Well, it's worse for mechanical pencils, because you can always reload them with tiny graphite sticks. So I keep a full eraser in my purse to go with the mechanical pencils I use.

  5. Loki My EeePC, of course. I love that name, by the way. I thought it was kind of fruity at first (Just like the Wii) but then I realized you can draw out the name in a high pitched squeak and annoy all my friends. "EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee!"

    Netbooks are the best; way better than laptops. It's only a couple pounds and it fits right into my purse, along with my notebooks for school. Course, I also have a desktop PC, so I don't even have a use for a full-featured, heavy laptop. People who own only laptops freak me out a little, to be honest.

  6. Snack I like to keep a snack or two in my purse so that when I'm sitting somewhere bored and digging around in it, I find a yummy surprise. Today it was a pack of gushers that have, more than likely, melted into one mass of artificial colours and sticky goo.

    They also have a thoughtful warning on them! Gushers cares about the life of your child.

  7. Keys Duh.

    I keep a USB thumbdrive on my keychain, because... well, because I use them all the time. Recently upgraded to 8GB from a 1GB. Now I can carry more than one movie around with me. Also, game files.

    All the game files.

    T and I were chatting about this the other day: if you told someone from, say, twenty to thirty years ago that you could carry around three HD movies on your keychain, what would they imagine? Like, a tape drive with a hole punched through it? A floppy disk? Some kind of super-future holo-projector? Three tiny portable screens attached to a ring?

  8. Lockpicks I'll be completely honest and say I don't know the first thing about picking locks. It's actually T's lockpick set, and he knows how to use them. We keep them in my purse because it seemed a little redundant to keep lockpicks in the apartment, behind the door we are most likely to need to pick.

    They're legal, by the way. As long as you have permission to pick the lock, that is. So you can pick your own locks, or a friend's locks, or even a strangers, providing they gave you permission to do so.

    T has helped a friend who locked himself out of the apartment... twice. He had a valiant go at a car door once, but it turns out they are significantly more difficult to pick. ;)

    Knowing how lockpicking works makes the lockpick sequences in seem Oblivion rather silly.

  9. Dental hygiene equipment When you're unexpectedly sleeping over somewhere, you want a toothbrush. This is also the only toothbrush that I will willingly share with T.

  10. You-know-whats For you-know-when.

    Not too long ago I was getting ready for a stay at a hotel with my little sister Myla and my mom. (She would have been...five at the time) I grabbed some pads or liners from the bathroom and tossed them in my bag.

    "What's that?" Myla asked. (Probably because they're brightly coloured, and I stashed them away rather quickly)
    "Pads." I said, not really knowing what else to say.
    "What are the for?" she asked,
    "They're for my period."
    She immediately got an awkward embarrassed look on her face. I can only imagine that she knows almost nothing about what a period is, but knows that it makes people act embarrassed.
    "Haha," my mom grinned, "We have that conversation all the time."

  11. Steve I finally got my phone! Yea, he's a sexy little thing, ain't he? It's the Samsung Galaxy S (Captivate). At around Christmas time last year this phone was on my wishlist. Since then, it had been bumped down to be the free phone with a local provider.

    Plus, they were having a promotion: put two phones on a new couples contract, get a free PS3. So, we have a PS3 now. We also have no games for it, and really no use for it since we have a 360. I think T is going to turn it into a server of some sort.

    I named my phone "Steve" because I can't see myself getting a dog anytime soon. T thinks it's a terribly inappropriate name for a phone, and I totally agree. That's why it's awesome. You should try giving your phone a people-name some time.
    • "Steve is hungry!"
    • "I can't find Steve's feeding cable..."
    • "SHUT UP, STEVE!"

  12. Things for ouchies Look, I'm a girl with delicate feet and not a lot of money. This means cheap shoes and cut up feet. I try to rotate which shoes I wear so the blisters get a chance to heal, but some blisters crop up while I'm in the middle of a walk around campus.

    Chapstick for chapped lips. The advil bottle has advil and allergy meds for when I happen to find myself outside on a freshly mown lawn.

    Fuck nature. >:(

  13. Things for contacts Contacts are fucking wonderful: I can wear nonprescription sunglasses. I can go swimming and still be able to see. I can walk around when it's raining or foggy and not have to clean lenses every few minutes.

    But, after a while, they do dry out my eyes. So I have drops and an emergency case should I want to take them out. Technically I can leave them in while sleeping, but it's not a nice thing. When I first got contacts in high school, I wasn't allowed to sleep with them in because they could actually dry to the lens of your eye and if you oepned your eyes too fast you could rip off the - well. Yeah. In short, modern contacts are way better.

  14. Bus schedule Having a schedule on my has saved me from standing in the show or rain when the buses decide to go into their few hours of only coming by once an hour. Or on Saturdays, when they only do every second trip. The fuckers don't even run on Sundays.

    That reminds me, I've decided to stop using "and/or" and to stick to strictly using "or" because, by the definition of "or," it can be one, the other or both. So when I say rain or snow, I also mean they can happen at the same time.

    Now, were I to say rain xor snow, then it could be rain and no snow, or snow but no rain.

    I think.

  15. Wallet Did I seriously leave the most bring item for last? Look at it. It's just a plain black wallet. It holds things like money and debit cards. So boring.

    Actually, it also holds a stack of membership cards. Like, more membership cards than any person should reasonably have.

    Alright, so there's only fifteen or so, but still. My wallet is stuffed with the damn things.

And that, barring the occasional odd item like a book, an umbrella or fresh underwear, is what lives in my purse. To my fellow bloggers, providing you managed to read this far... I showed you mine, so it's only fair you show me yours.

Says the flasher to the woman in the park

4 things about

What's in your bag!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  1. 1. 16 GB memory stick. Since I'm a bad computer administrator I try to always be ready for my computers to die.

    2. little green notebook for all the user names and passwords for the hundred thousand things that require them. Plus several dozen phone numbers for co-workers I no-longer work with.

    3. HP35s Scientific Calculator. Because there are two sorts of Homo Sapiens: those who use RPN and those who don't.

    4. AIRBORNE effervescent Health Formula. Zesty orange flavor. It works. (...well, I've convinced myself it does...)

    5. 1 dime. Denver 2010. Probably a good mintage.

    6. 3 quasi-random textbooks. I try to draw a fine-line between having what I think I need for the work I think I'm going to do at home in the evenings and completely wasting my time by hauling 25 lbs of books that I will never touch because I'm too tired of thinking for a day. I'll never get this right.

    7. I'm a guy, so the Android, wallet and car-keys go in my pockets.

  2. Okay, I might have to do my purse in the morning.
    I bought a new one today and I would love to show it off. =]

  3. 4 Lipsticks/lip glosses*
    1 Yo-yo
    1 headlight
    1 change purse holding; drivers license, debit card, grocery/gas loyalty card, money and coins*
    1 camera*
    1 cell phone*

    *Some days a purse is just too much so on those occasions, items are stashed in my bra, or as I call it my "BBG purse".

  4. Stu: Well, your bag is certainly more intelligent than mine. it also sounds quite a bit heavier. I've got Lastpass to cover me for the usernames/passwords thing, which is good because I always loose notebooks. >:(

    Jess: DOO ITTT. It's super fun to clean out all your stuff and get an idea of what you consider to be important enough to carry everywhere with you. :3

    BBG: DAYM, girl, I think my camera is bigger than my tits; it would be hilarious for me to stuff my bust with a cell phone, wallet and a camera. I bet it's super convenient to not have a purse, haha.

    Do you yo-yo well? (I don't know how to verb that!)


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