Arguably, the most important trait that separates humankind from other animals is our ability to formulate complex ideas. (Thumbs are pretty rad, too, but we're not the only creatures who've got 'em. Fucking raccoon.) But, complex as they are, these ideas are not always correct. If you look over the history of scientific beliefs, this becomes painfully clear, and can be a great source of amusement if you're that kind of person.
I am that kind of person.
One of my favourite obsolete beliefs is "spontaneous generation;" the belief that certain organisms spontaneously appear out of other substances. For example, it was supposedly believed that rats would appear out of piles of garbage, or that frogs would spawn out of mud that was exposed to the sun. This actually resulted in several "recipes" for critters, or other misguided beliefs, like the belief that geese were fish. (This was before it was known that some species of birds migrate, so people didn't know where a certain species of geese originated from. It was observed that a type of barnacle has a similar coloration scheme to the geese in question, and therefore deduced that the barnacles were a sort of pupal stage of geese. Interestingly, this was used as the reasoning for why it was okay to eat geese during Lent, when normally you could eat no meat other than fish.)
It's all very cute, and very funny. (And it's all very easily debunked by the use of (even moderately) controlled experiments. So, we add another thing to the list of hilarious beliefs our ancestors ascribed to.
Except a few weeks ago I bought bananas. I don't normally buy bananas, because I'm allergic to them, and T won't touch them. But one of the rabbits was being medicated for an ear infection, and I bought a bunch of stuff to see if anything would get the pills down faster.
Anyway, I had bananas and no one to eat them (except rabbits), so they sat on the counter for a few days.
Then, one day, I passed my hand over the bananas and a cloud of fruit flies frantically burst into the air. We had not previously had a problem with fruit flies.... until I bought bananas. And then they were everywhere and we're still trying to get rid of them a full fucking month later.
We went to visit T's parents, and they had a fruit bowl on the counter. And there, next to the apples and oranges, was a banana. As I was hanging out in the kitchen, my idle hands happened to skim the air near the banana, and a cloud of fruit flies rose from the banana and buzzed chaotically around the kitchen.
There it is again: bananas... and then fruit flies.
Fuck what the science says, I think someone back there in the mid-first-millennium had their shit right. This shit isn't a coincidence. Bananas cause motherfucking fruit flies. It's undeniable. And I don't think I'll be buying fucking bananas again, because those fuckers are annoying. (The flies, not the bananas)
If I ever play Pictionary, and I ever have to draw a fruit fly, I know exactly what I'll doodle.